you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
