I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
