i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
