addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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