I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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