it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
