I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
