i think my mom watched the whole time
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
