This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
