I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
