3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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