Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
tell me about the eggs
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
