i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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