if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
