I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
