Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
