No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
well you can't waste a boner
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
