And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
