At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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