i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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