Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
