Pappa wants mamma naked
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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