i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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