i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
