We're facebook friends in real life
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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