i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
