oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So squirting runs in the family.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize