Kareoke will never be a sober sport
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
