I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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