How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
