he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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