if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
