my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
