just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
