When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
