And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
