I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
