He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
