he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
