I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
