Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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