you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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