Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
