it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's blow job season.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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