He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Every concussion has its silver lining
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
