i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
