if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
