felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
