Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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