Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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